Im with the people who say that if you feel comfortable, a gentle lesson would hurt. The Department of Labor is putting a lot of energy around the issue of discrimination against transgendered people. Absolutely not okay. She didnt have anything to do with the new org chart. How do I explain my concerns to my boss in a way that doesnt make me sound like Im an exception? She was bashing Caitlyn in particular, and bashing her based on this specific award situation that became a meme. At your workplace, you have overheard a co-worker talking about another co-worker of Asian descent saying, "I don't want to him near me with his Chinese virus." How will you respond? The only thing you'd have to change is who you report to. I am confused by the advice to report this. I fully agree that people who put their lives on the line as soldiers, police officers, and fire fighters, or people who simply step in and help in critical situations because its the right thing to do, are very courageous and brave and they deserve acknowledgement. Zillah no, I will not silence my plea to treat everyone yes, even those with whom you may disagree with respect. surgery doesnt change a biological sex it just makes the body appear more like the sex that matches a trans persons gender. Ive assumed that maybe they did it to make me look more experienced, but Im afraid if prospective employers call my internships to ask about what kind of employee I was theyll feel lied to, and my former internships will be annoyed with me. Hateful comments are hurtful. You do not have to change their mind about transgender people. He did not support what they have done, but he said we all have a right of opinion and speech. Please don't do that again. " For LW#3, separate from the problem of either being mislead or misunderstanding, does anyone else think the idea of the department co-leads sounds terrible and confusing for everyone? At my last job, the sole grant writer would often work from home as her job required concentration to write but everybody else wasnt allowed to. Its not about deciding that prejudice towards one group or in one form is more offensive than another. You also can send someone for additional sensitivity training. if someone tries to force their definition on you, regardless of what definition that is, try to forgive the person. A refreshed look at leadership from the desk of CEO and chief content officer Stephanie Mehta, This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google. I cant remember what any of them are called right now :/. To them its a religion though. In my company people would, although not after a formal warning. If you are in the US and not exempt, you must be paid for mandatory work. But its just not treated that way because as a society we have decided that stereotyping certain groups is worse than stereotyping others, even if they are essentially the same as in this example. To this day, the mere thought of co-leading a department give me palpitations. Theres a lot more context to what youre discussing than just something as simple as associating a race with a food, though. i think its problematic to define hate speech in this way, because there are 2 dimensions at work: 1. what the person receiving the prejudice feels. Its unlikely theyd face any real discipline from one comment unless it was egregiously obnoxious, but if someone makes a habit of going around the office saying racist/homophobic/transphobic things, their employer has the right to fire them. Keep away from situations or activities that can compromise your professional credibility. Its understanding where the rope is already pulled so taut that theres less slack to give to minor offenses. I dont tell people they are wrong to be offended, but its not an automatic response. If they dont want to be misinterpreted, they shouldnt have conversations like that at work. One day, I was moved to a cubicle so a visitor could use my office, and even though Ive worked in cubes or shared offices my whole career, I was amazed at how distracting it was. My office is the last place I feel like I can do good work. E.g. How to deal with co-worker that is more managerial than engineer and somewhat bully? Assume whenever anyone says anything it's about you and it's bad. I was a co-manager for my first two years at my job. I hope youll update us on the outcome. As a trans guy and regular reader, I just want to (a) thank you for writing about trans workplace stuff and (b) marvel at the cultural shift that has taken place on trans issues. Im in favor of reporting as well. I mean, I think think of a giant list of reasons working from home wouldnt be a reasonable accommodation, so I dont think it would be very few: If youre a receptionist. Yeah, thatll show the mean, mean world with its rules and its PC police! What we have here is a fake news story, which has misconstrued the whole point of the award (which is to recognize courage and bravery), making the award into a competition about who is more brave in order to express the opinion that Caitlyn Jenner is not brave. Our QA department needed a lead for a new project, and one tester was the favorite for the job, but his wife was pregnant and due to have a baby at more or less the same week that the project was scheduled to be released. It got so bad, Alison had to ask him to take a break and change his name because his old username became synonymous with I like to argue with women. If you exhibit it on office premises, you get reported. i subscribe to the notion that the feelings triggered by our present situation have more to do with who we are and where weve been than what the present situation is. I doubt they would be willing to do this, but they should have at least two meetings to meet the needs of the shift workers. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Is there some underlying truth to the gossip? But once this employee files a case for unfair dismissal, i highly doubt employer would win it. :-) It is fine for the co-worker to have an opinion about who should or shouldnt receive an award; it is NOT fine to call someone a freak.
); (2) It doesnt matter if youre directing the comment to someone specific in the office or if there are even any trans (or LGBT or whatever) people in the office (and you often dont know who is gay or trans or a certain religion or unmarried with kids or whatever), and (3) Overheard comments can still contribute to a hostile work environment (or a policy violation) (i.e., two men are in a breakroom talking about hot chicks and their chest size preferences on women and a third man walks in. it is inherently subjective, and therefore there is no right or wrong definition of it. While I agree theres certainly a lot of ignorance about this topic still (I only know most of what I do because Ive done research and talked with a trans friend that was comfortable answering questions for me) there are also plenty of people who know theyre using the wrong pronoun/name and dont care because they think being trans is stupid/fake/a mental disorder/wrong/etc. #1 Why would you respect someones right to be hateful? What type of headphones did you try? Still um. Note that when you are WFH, coworkers can easily reach you through your landline(opt), cell or email (and then be super responsive to those). Typically there are SOPs and all kinds of stuff for these and HR follows a routine, investigation (i.e., just talking to a few people) and has a progressive punishment scale. Nor had I, and my editors brain keeps reading it espy. So, its an award for something that was glimpsed? If you know who made the remark and ask them to take a little walk with you. I dont know how anyone gets any work done in shared space. Dealing with Quirky Communication Styles in the Workplace. My supervisors at one of my first internships tossed ableist terms (e.g., anyone who was violent or irrational was a psycho or psychotic) around all the time. Thinking back, I wish I had said something to her, even if it was just, Wow. I dont think I would have changed her mind on the topic, but I think I should have made it clear that saying something hateful like that was not ok. I guess its worse if youre applying it directly to that employee, but referring to celebrities (or anyone else) using slurs is targeting people who belong to that group by creating an environment for them that doesnt feel safe, even if you never use it toward them directly. if this were not the case, any who dissent would be viewed as a tiny and largely irrelevant minority, more akin to believing the earth is flat, something that most people would dismiss and not find worthy of debate. You have to be extremely careful when you only overhear part of a conversation. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. maybe he is dealing with severe physical or mental health problems. That makes sense, but then why didnt anyone think to clarify this with the Op before handing out the org chart? A couple of months a go someone I work with made an off colour remark about homosexuals, it was more stupid and juvenile than outrageous but still wasnt acceptable, so I said as much. I agree with Chuchundra bellow about policing private conversation based on hearsay. I mean, did Prince becoming the man-formerly-known-as-Prince really stop people from calling him Prince? And it is not that i disagree on the fact it is hateful. Thank you! Can you please advise how calling someone a freak is respectful disagreement? @Cheesecake: I hate to pile on, but as I said upthread, and as De said, that really depends on where in Europe you are. second thing is i personally claim to say something different because i did. Helka I thanked Warren for pointing out the irony that respect for differing beliefs on this subject is tremendously one-sided. Again, its the conversation/people talking thing. But you can and should require that they keep their bigoted believes to themselves at work. But refrain from calling Catholics freaks. I can forgive those comments and often let them slide depending on context. Oh, the horrors, being asked to treat a person like a person by not saying nasty things in the workplace.
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